If you’re new here, my name is Liv, and I’ve been traveling since I was 18 years old. I’ve been to over 40 countries and visited thousands of cities, islands, and villages, all by myself. Solo female travel has become a huge thing, and I’m so happy about that because it is empowering, life changing, and honestly one of the most beautiful experiences you can have. I can’t imagine my life without it, and I can’t imagine where I’d be right now if my 18 year old self hadn’t decided to just go for it and travel the world alone.
But the longer I’ve traveled solo as a woman, and the more I’ve matured in my relationship with myself and with others, the more I’ve started to notice the flaws too. Before I get into the real point of this article, I want to be clear that I am not trying to discourage anyone, especially young women, from solo traveling. It is still one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. However, there is a downside that has become more and more obvious to me, especially over the past year as I’ve grown and changed a lot. I’ve had some really uncomfortable, eye opening experiences in different countries that have shifted the way I see solo female travel, particularly when it comes to the social side of it. Of course this depends so much on where you are, who you meet, where you stay, and your own energy and boundaries. But I want to share my general thoughts on what I’ve personally found to be a growing downside.
I want to talk about the reality of socializing as a solo female traveler, especially when it comes to the opposite gender. This is not meant to put down all men everywhere. It’s just based on my overall experiences over the last four years of traveling alone. When I first started, I found it incredibly easy to make friends. Girls, guys, locals, travelers, everyone. I’ve always been someone who gets along easily with people, and back then I never really struggled socially.
But I was also in a very different mindset at the start of my travels. I was more carefree, more reckless, and honestly just doing whatever I wanted with whoever I wanted. You can interpret that however you want. I was going out all the time, drinking, partying, meeting random people, and just flowing through life without much intention or awareness. That made it really easy to socialize, because I was always in social environments and open to anything.
Now, years later, I don’t really care to party or stay out late with random people. That’s just not my priority anymore when I travel. My values and intentions have shifted so much. And because of that, I’ve actually found it way harder to form genuine and fulfilling connections on the road. Especially in the past six months, since I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, I’ve noticed that most of the people who approach me or start conversations with me are men. And not always for the right reasons.
To be clear, I have met many kind, respectful men who just wanted to talk, share stories, and connect, and who respected my boundaries and the fact that I’m in a relationship. Those interactions mean a lot to me. But I’ve also had countless moments where it feels like the only reason someone is talking to me is because I’m a woman alone. It often feels transactional. Like they’re flirting, testing the waters, trying to see what they can get. And the second I mention that I have a boyfriend, the energy completely changes, or the conversation just ends.
There are also plenty of women, of course, but I’ve found that girls can be more intimidating to approach, more cliquey, and sometimes harder to connect with on a deeper level. Not always, but often. So a lot of the time I find myself sitting alone at dinner, or having a drink, or walking through a city, or lying on the beach, and the people who approach me are doing it with the wrong intentions. It makes you feel objectified in a way, like you’re being looked at instead of seen.
It doesn’t necessarily make me feel unsafe, that’s a whole different conversation and something I’ve written about before. But it does make me feel uncomfortable and discouraged. Lately, I’ve felt really disheartened by the social side of travel. I crave real conversations, soul connections, people who just want to talk about life, ideas, and experiences. But instead, so many interactions start with comments about my body, my looks, why I’m alone, or someone trying to buy me a drink with the hope of taking me back to their room.
Again, this is just my experience, and it’s different everywhere. It depends so much on timing, location, who you’re around, and your own energy. But it’s been so repetitive for me lately that it’s really affected how I feel about traveling socially. That’s why I often prefer being friends with locals now. It feels more grounded, more real, and I learn so much more about the places I’m visiting. It makes travel feel more intentional.
Still, sometimes you really want that connection with other travelers too. People who get the lifestyle, who feel familiar, who give you a sense of home even when you’re far away. And I’ve just struggled to find that kind of genuine connection recently.
I think this is an important reality of solo female travel that people don’t talk about enough. When you’re single and living in a very carefree way, it can feel easier. You’re more open, more spontaneous, and everything feels exciting. That phase was amazing for me, and I don’t regret it at all. Some of the best memories of my life came from that time.
But as I’ve grown, and my mindset and intentions have changed, my experience of travel has changed too, especially socially. And it’s really altered how I see solo female travel. It’s still beautiful. It’s still powerful. But it’s also more complex and more emotional than people make it seem. And I think it’s okay to admit that.
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